Read this after my wife did and it's the first time we're both handling the same tantrum the same way.
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Recenzje (25)
My evenings are so much calmer now.
The car seat war is over. Three days.
I'm a childminder, not a parent, and I took this to get better language for the harder moments with the little ones I look after. It's been brilliant for that. The framing of boundary-testing as development rather than misbehaviour changed how I talk about a child's day with their parents at pickup, and I've started using the emotion-naming scripts with a three year old who used to bite. Two months in, the biting has stopped almost entirely. I've since suggested the approach to two of the families I work with.
I'd been piecing together advice from random blogs and it was contradictory and overwhelming. Having one structured approach to tantrums and limits in a row made everything click, and the connection-first framing feels right for our family.
The approach itself is sound and my son responds to it. The trouble is my parents watch him twice a week and do the old shouting routine, so we lose ground every time — a chapter on getting other caregivers on board would have helped a lot.
Good material, though most examples imagine two parents at home and I'm doing this on my own.
Overall a thoughtful, gentle approach to the toddler stage and I've taken a lot from the sections on emotional coaching. My one gripe is that it's quite text-heavy and I would have loved a few more concrete word-for-word examples for the trickier moments like public tantrums. Still, the boundary-setting framework is sound and I catch myself using the calm-voice technique daily. Worth working through slowly.
Really solid for one toddler, though I wish it covered sibling situations too.
The bit about repairing after you snap is what I needed most. I still lose my temper sometimes, but going back and saying sorry properly instead of pretending it didn't happen has made him trust me more, not less.
I liked how much focus there was on naming emotions rather than just stopping the behaviour. My son is starting to say 'I'm frustrated' instead of hitting, which felt impossible a month ago.
I have a very strong-willed two year old and mealtimes had become a nightmare. The section on staying calm during a meltdown instead of trying to reason mid-tantrum actually changed how our evenings go. It took a couple of weeks before I stopped reacting the old way, but the scripts for naming his feelings really do help him settle faster. Wish I'd found this before he turned two.
Works well on a normal day. When he's overtired or coming down with something, none of it lands and the course doesn't really acknowledge that some meltdowns are just biology. Still, on ordinary days I'm a much calmer parent than I was.
Helpful, but a bit basic if you've read widely.
Finally understand why my toddler tests limits.
The methods work, they just ask a lot of patience on days when you're running on four hours of sleep.
Drop-off used to end with her sobbing and me feeling awful all morning. The short goodbye routine plus naming what she's feeling before we walk in has cut it down to a few tears, and last Thursday there were none at all.
Useful, but assumes your toddler already talks a bit.
Swapping 'good girl' for describing what she actually did has made her stick with hard things much longer.
Great from about two onwards, thinner for the eighteen-month stage.
Great grounding in why toddlers act out, though the opening chapters felt a little slow to get going.
The part about setting boundaries with empathy instead of punishment clicked for me.
I worked through this over about three weeks and the toddler-brain explanations alone were worth it — I stopped taking the defiance personally almost immediately. The techniques for boundaries are described clearly enough that I could use them the same evening. My honest caveat is that everything depends on you keeping it up, and there's nothing in the course to help with that: no checkpoints, no way to track whether you're actually changing. Week one I was consistent, week two I slipped back into old habits without noticing. Once I set my own reminders it went fine, but I'd have liked some structure for the long haul.
Bedtime tantrums have gone from nightly to maybe once a week using the wind-down boundaries here.
A really reassuring guide for the toddler years. It gave me a plan for the meltdowns instead of just surviving them, and I feel less like I'm winging it every day.
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